Installed every update. I got on to the final update that was supposedly marked as "Important", which was Windows RT 8.1 Update 3. Turns out it's actually an optional update that the Surface RT somehow mixed in with everything else, aaaaaand... the whole thing bricked again.

Another reset later, and now I'm going through installing updates for the third time now, and this time, I'm gonna pay special attention to what's installing and what isn't.

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Literally, the second day that I've owned a Surface RT, and I'm already having to leave the thing on overnight to factory reset off of a USB flash drive just because one of the recently-released optional updates bricked the entire device. I guess I'll just avoid those updates from now on.

While there are OpenGL to Direct3D wrappers available floating around the internet, they're all either for x86 processors or are too buggy to get Minecraft to launch. I got as far as the Minecraft Launcher before getting smacked with a faceful of errors. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if something better pops up sometime. In the meantime, at least I know a list of ARM-compiled things for WinRT.